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Love,
Lifetime.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
[title]: The Karla-Josephine Lino Movie.
Dear Lifetime; television for women,
I have decided to write a screenplay about a dream I had (very) loosely based on my life. Enclosed is part of my screenplay... I have figured I will write this over a period of time and will continue sending several paragraphs to you. If you like it (and I know you will), you can call me at my personal number: 1-(900)-hoe-bags and we can negotiate filming and production.
-Yours truly.
Scene 1
[Begin scene with LFO-"Summer Girls" playing. Scenes of the beach or a lake and a somewhat shifty looking neighborhood.]/begin opening credits credits.
Jennifer Love Hewitt- [lead character].
Lindsay Lohan- Herself.
Tori Spelling- Judith.
Jennifer Love Hewitt voice [montage of scenes and random shit still happening]:
I had moved back to Fictitiousville after five years of being away. My godmother had died and she had left me everything in her will. I was entitled to all the bullshit in her life, her house, her cat, and her car, but she had money and now I had money. Fictitiousville was a pretty ridiculous town, there was nothing really there except burn-outs and the parents everyone left behind. Everyone I knew left, except my best friend.
[Jennifer Love Hewitt is sitting on the front porch of her newly inherited house with her cat, Candace. Lindsay Lohan enters scene.]
Lindsay:
Hey you.
Jennifer Love Hewitt:
Hey Lindsay. Long time, no see.
Lindsay:
Yeah, it's been a while. I'm sorry about your god mother. Must be rough.
Jennifer:
Yeah, it is, but what can you do? I hate being here but I can't afford living anywhere else right now.
Lindsay:
[sad look, slight silence, then looks up with a smile] Wanna do coke?
Jennifer:
Maybe later, I need a reason to, ya know? I can't just do it without a reason... though this is kind of reason enough.
Lindsay:
[sits next to Jennifer] How about we go out tonight? I could introduce you to a few new people...
Jennifer:
Yeah maybe I should. Everyone left... well I mean you're here... Maybe I should go out, my treat, you know, since I'm a little loaded with dead-people money now.
Lindsay:
Cool, let's do some coke.
Jennifer:
Okay.
END SCENE.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
It's Been Ages.
Samantha,
I don't have an outline of what I want to blog about today... I haven't blogged in a while but I've kept tabs in my mind of what I wanted to write about. In conclusion, my mind isn't the best place to keep tabs since things get shuffled and lost in the gray matter. My long work days have caused this weekend to be a hybernation-fest... I literally slept in the afternoon and woke up late morning since friday night, now I'm sore as fuck.
I'm also on MySpace right now, browsing through old friends and I've stumbled upon one of my old guildmates back in my Guild Wars era that I miss ever-so much. It's really weird, I thought he was cute in the nerdy, pasty, Mid-Western boy kind of way, but his pictures are really weird and not the good kind of weird. Like pictures of him without shirts posing in bathroom mirrors--if I recall correctly, that was very 3 years ago. He doesn't really have much bragging rights when it comes to his body either, he's really skinny and not much muscle. See, I'm not much of a muscle adorer when it comes to guys, but those pictures could have been avoidable. Now my cornea is embedded with pasty, skinny, shirtless MySpace pictures and I'm scarred for life or until he comes up with a safer default.
I'm going to make a swordfish sandwich for tomorrow's lunch... I am the master.
-KJ.
I don't have an outline of what I want to blog about today... I haven't blogged in a while but I've kept tabs in my mind of what I wanted to write about. In conclusion, my mind isn't the best place to keep tabs since things get shuffled and lost in the gray matter. My long work days have caused this weekend to be a hybernation-fest... I literally slept in the afternoon and woke up late morning since friday night, now I'm sore as fuck.
I'm also on MySpace right now, browsing through old friends and I've stumbled upon one of my old guildmates back in my Guild Wars era that I miss ever-so much. It's really weird, I thought he was cute in the nerdy, pasty, Mid-Western boy kind of way, but his pictures are really weird and not the good kind of weird. Like pictures of him without shirts posing in bathroom mirrors--if I recall correctly, that was very 3 years ago. He doesn't really have much bragging rights when it comes to his body either, he's really skinny and not much muscle. See, I'm not much of a muscle adorer when it comes to guys, but those pictures could have been avoidable. Now my cornea is embedded with pasty, skinny, shirtless MySpace pictures and I'm scarred for life or until he comes up with a safer default.
I'm going to make a swordfish sandwich for tomorrow's lunch... I am the master.
-KJ.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Hello,
Well I haven't been able to blog because of the Pebble Beach AT&T job assignment I took on the past couple of days. I was assigned in the main cold kitchen in this hotel called The Lodge and I had major anxiety over it, mainly because it was my second week of culinary school and I have little to no training in the restaurant industry... Sure, I have my uniform, but I don't even have my knife kit yet and I barely learned how to chop vegetables. Though it was actually pretty overwhelming, to my surprise, everything was really chill and somewhat felt like I was in a mini-series. Let me elaborate.
Karla-Josephine: The protagonist. A young and aspiring chef who was sent to do an externship at a fancy resort. She is shy and unsure but starts to open up upon meeting the rest of the staff.
Irene: Karla-Josephine's supervisor. She's a cook at the cold kitchen and is both cutthroat and compassionate. She puts Karla to work right away with challenging work that lasts for hours and shows her no mercy, but is very maternal and encouraging.
Jackie: A senior culinary student. Very accomplished and quiet at first, but warms up to Karla after a few assignments.
Antonio: The comedic chef. He's the comedy relief of the group, very light-hearted but an amazing chef.
Hugo: A chef who may fancy Karla-Josephine. He jokes around is the kindest to the rookie, Karla.
Kellie: A caterer. She's rough around the edges and isn't afraid to say words like "fuck," "shit," and "pussy" in the kitchen. She gives Karla a leg up in the catering game and often makes crude jokes one can't help but chuckle at.
Romy: An older cook. He's been working at the resort for 25 years and knows he has nothing much to worry about when it comes to his job. He's quiet but jokes around with Karla often because they both share the same heritage.
Jun: A cook. Slightly odd but makes an effort to get to know Karla. He finds that he possibly knew her grandmother many years ago.
Tony: A chef. Quiet, odd, but has a pretty nice personality. He used to live in San Francisco and often talks about the City with Karla.
Busboys: A group of guys that mostly speak Spanish and refer to Karla as Karlita.
If this were a series, it would kind of be like Cheers, only with a culinary twist. Where everybody knows your name, like literally, whenever someone came in, we would scream their name no matter how early or late in the day it was. The ensemble of people in that kitchen really clicked and worked, even when things were stressful. My favorite parts were probably the smoke breaks, not necessarily for the cigarettes, but for the conversations we'd have and I got to know many of the culinary students from my school that I haven't gotten to talk to.
Anyway, I'm tired and don't think I'm making sense anymore.
Presidents Day is tomorrow. Yay for presidents. I hope to write something more interesting soon.
-Karlajosephine.
Well I haven't been able to blog because of the Pebble Beach AT&T job assignment I took on the past couple of days. I was assigned in the main cold kitchen in this hotel called The Lodge and I had major anxiety over it, mainly because it was my second week of culinary school and I have little to no training in the restaurant industry... Sure, I have my uniform, but I don't even have my knife kit yet and I barely learned how to chop vegetables. Though it was actually pretty overwhelming, to my surprise, everything was really chill and somewhat felt like I was in a mini-series. Let me elaborate.
Karla-Josephine: The protagonist. A young and aspiring chef who was sent to do an externship at a fancy resort. She is shy and unsure but starts to open up upon meeting the rest of the staff.
Irene: Karla-Josephine's supervisor. She's a cook at the cold kitchen and is both cutthroat and compassionate. She puts Karla to work right away with challenging work that lasts for hours and shows her no mercy, but is very maternal and encouraging.
Jackie: A senior culinary student. Very accomplished and quiet at first, but warms up to Karla after a few assignments.
Antonio: The comedic chef. He's the comedy relief of the group, very light-hearted but an amazing chef.
Hugo: A chef who may fancy Karla-Josephine. He jokes around is the kindest to the rookie, Karla.
Kellie: A caterer. She's rough around the edges and isn't afraid to say words like "fuck," "shit," and "pussy" in the kitchen. She gives Karla a leg up in the catering game and often makes crude jokes one can't help but chuckle at.
Romy: An older cook. He's been working at the resort for 25 years and knows he has nothing much to worry about when it comes to his job. He's quiet but jokes around with Karla often because they both share the same heritage.
Jun: A cook. Slightly odd but makes an effort to get to know Karla. He finds that he possibly knew her grandmother many years ago.
Tony: A chef. Quiet, odd, but has a pretty nice personality. He used to live in San Francisco and often talks about the City with Karla.
Busboys: A group of guys that mostly speak Spanish and refer to Karla as Karlita.
If this were a series, it would kind of be like Cheers, only with a culinary twist. Where everybody knows your name, like literally, whenever someone came in, we would scream their name no matter how early or late in the day it was. The ensemble of people in that kitchen really clicked and worked, even when things were stressful. My favorite parts were probably the smoke breaks, not necessarily for the cigarettes, but for the conversations we'd have and I got to know many of the culinary students from my school that I haven't gotten to talk to.
Anyway, I'm tired and don't think I'm making sense anymore.
Presidents Day is tomorrow. Yay for presidents. I hope to write something more interesting soon.
-Karlajosephine.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Dearest Samantha,
It's been a while since I've posted, but the lack of a laptop plays a giant role in my internet access. Anyway, I've called you plenty of times to tell you the travels and journeys I've been on this fateful week and I thought I'd paraphrase each day:
Monday: First day of culinary school and my close-to-similar (to SFSU) life at a junior college. I met my four classmates, 3 guys and me. It reminded me of always being the token girl in certain groups of competition... ie. martial arts, sports--you know, back when I was active. The heat was bullshittedly hot so I already wasn't as much of a fan by then. The four of us sat awkwardly at the table, avoiding each other's glances and points of vision, me periodically staring at my phone, hoping someone would text me so I could look like I was doing something, but alas, no one sane is awake this early. The executive chef came in and gave us a run down on what culinary school is going to be about... Junior college was pretty regular, I was having a shitty time in guitar because I was in that awkward stage of being between "beginner" and "intermediate."
Tuesday: Okay I'm going to write smaller entries because I'm tired... Ummmmmm tuesday, the day of dissecting the "pussy pussy" -- that sounded horrible but my foreign lab partner in anatomy thought that "pussy pussy" meant cat. Oh the irony of language barriers. Anyway, I dissected a cat, I know how a dead cat looks like... I know it's body system. I am the scientist of Generation Meow.
Wednesday: I met the love of my life in class. We're going to get married since he walked me to my car.
Thursday: More "pussy pussy" and foreign antics. ANDANDAND I had to give presentations about fruits and vegetables in front of third graders. My executive chef is a jedi, she TRICKED us into giving presentations and lugging around food because it would teach us a lesson... it did teach us a lesson though, I can give presentations without freaking out and I can probably bench press a wagon of vegetables.
Friday: I GOT MY CHEF'S COATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Pictures on Facebook.
Anyway, culinary school is amazing... It's starting out great and I've put those lumberjack Timberland boots I bought for my Halloween costume to good use, they are officially my culinary shoes since they're legit and make me look like a badass. I also am a little taller and can see over stock pots since I'm short shit. There is another girl in the semester above me, but the class that's a semester above mine is almost all boys except for that girl. My executive chef, who is also a girl, told me personally I'm probably going to work really hard, just because I can't carry nearly as much as a guy and can't reach the higher shelves, but she has faith in me and stuff.
I have to go... I'm helping out at a culinary event tomorrow. Yes a sunday, but I get monday off. Farewell.
Sincerely,
Karla-Josephine.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
KARLA-I love transportation. I love it so much. I love the act of travel more than anywhere I could possibly be going and more than anyone I could be going to see. That's awful, but it's so true. I love moving scenery and moving people. In headphones and a black coat I slink onto your public transportation of choice with almost only one intention- watching you...judging you. This weekend was no exception. I went to San Jose on the CalTrain. I was visiting a couple of friends, a couple of best friends, one I hadn't seen in at least six months. It was great.
My trip on Saturday has almost completely left my mind. Nothing incredibly exciting happened, though. I'm assuming that means that nothing that great happened. Nothing that great ever happens, but that doesn't make any trip any less great.
I just got back a couple of hours ago, though. You mentioned a blog, I figured what the fuck.
I got onto the train and made my way to the seats on the second level. I find it hard to believe that there are people that don't sit on the top when they can. It blows my mind. Not only is it stairs on a train (great,) it's such a great place to watch people. So I sat myself down and did a preliminary look around. I guess the guy in the seat parallel to mine was doing the same thing, because we looked in each others direction at the same time, then we both went back to looking out the window. He was wearing a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up in the best kind of way and cowboy boots. I don't understand and I don't understand and I don't understand, but for some reason it worked. It was great. He had a canvas backpack, the kind that kind of makes a person look like a vagrant, and I don't know if you know how I feel about vagrants, but I love them. It goes with that whole writer thing. Maybe he wanders around with his backpack (which was filled with another plaid shirt) and crashes on peoples couches writing poetry and thinking. I have issues, but that's beside the point. So I put my feet up on the chair across from mine and read until I realized that I didn't feel like it, and then proceeded to sit there. That's when I got to see that chick dance. I watched her get progressively more in to her music.
SOMEDAY I WILL FINISH THIS!
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