[title]: The Karla-Josephine Lino Movie.

Dear Lifetime; television for women,

I have decided to write a screenplay about a dream I had (very) loosely based on my life. Enclosed is part of my screenplay... I have figured I will write this over a period of time and will continue sending several paragraphs to you. If you like it (and I know you will), you can call me at my personal number: 1-(900)-hoe-bags and we can negotiate filming and production.

-Yours truly.

Scene 1

[Begin scene with LFO-"Summer Girls" playing. Scenes of the beach or a lake and a somewhat shifty looking neighborhood.]

/begin opening credits credits.

Jennifer Love Hewitt- [lead character].

Lindsay Lohan- Herself.

Tori Spelling- Judith.

Jennifer Love Hewitt voice [montage of scenes and random shit still happening]:

I had moved back to Fictitiousville after five years of being away. My godmother had died and she had left me everything in her will. I was entitled to all the bullshit in her life, her house, her cat, and her car, but she had money and now I had money. Fictitiousville was a pretty ridiculous town, there was nothing really there except burn-outs and the parents everyone left behind. Everyone I knew left, except my best friend.

[Jennifer Love Hewitt is sitting on the front porch of her newly inherited house with her cat, Candace. Lindsay Lohan enters scene.]

Lindsay:

Hey you.

Jennifer Love Hewitt:

Hey Lindsay. Long time, no see.

Lindsay:

Yeah, it's been a while. I'm sorry about your god mother. Must be rough.

Jennifer:

Yeah, it is, but what can you do? I hate being here but I can't afford living anywhere else right now.

Lindsay:

[sad look, slight silence, then looks up with a smile] Wanna do coke?

Jennifer:

Maybe later, I need a reason to, ya know? I can't just do it without a reason... though this is kind of reason enough.

Lindsay:

[sits next to Jennifer] How about we go out tonight? I could introduce you to a few new people...

Jennifer:

Yeah maybe I should. Everyone left... well I mean you're here... Maybe I should go out, my treat, you know, since I'm a little loaded with dead-people money now.

Lindsay:

Cool, let's do some coke.

Jennifer:

Okay.

END SCENE.